Stage 4 and my father won't admit it.


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Stage 4 and my father won't admit it.

Postby twinsplusone » Fri Oct 19, 2012 6:11 pm

My mother is stage 4. The doctor in the nuro ward at the hospital says we are living on borrowed time.
They have a NG tube to assist with meds. Her heart is beating too fast and out of rthyem.
They think she aspirated something and are doing antibiotics for possible infection.
She is NPO right now. My dad thinks she is getting better... But I don't know. I just want her to not have to deal with this. To be free. Talk of a feeding tube (g-tube) is going around. I just hate seeing my mom suffer and I have no say in her care as my father has power of attorney.
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Re: Stage 4 and my father won't admit it.

Postby Robin » Sat Oct 20, 2012 4:13 pm

Sorry to know that you and your father are in apparent disagreement about your dear mother's care. Sometimes the most adult children can do is to focus on showing love to their PSP parent, and bite their tongue when it comes to treatment decisions.

It's very important for each of us (regardless of our neurological status) to choose wisely when it comes to a primary healthcare power-of-attorney. I often see cases where the spouse is not the best choice. Sometimes the oldest adult child is not the best choice either. Each case is different but it's an important decision we all have to make.
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Re: Stage 4 and my father won't admit it.

Postby twinsplusone » Sat Oct 20, 2012 6:43 pm

It was very hard seeing her in the nuro ward yesterday. I found out she ripped out her cath, her ng tube and they replaced both and she is now soft restrained.
I don't think it's fair to her as if she ripped it out she doesn't want it. I want my mom to be free of this bondage... I hate to see her like this...
twinsplusone
 
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Re: Stage 4 and my father won't admit it.

Postby Robin » Sat Oct 20, 2012 11:49 pm

Perhaps you can speak with the social worker at the hospital. Maybe the social worker has some ideas for how you can work with your father.
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Re: Stage 4 and my father won't admit it.

Postby twinsplusone » Sun Oct 21, 2012 12:51 pm

I'm here at the hospital all day. Luckily I have Monday off work as the social worker is not in on the weekends... I hate seeing her suffer. She has o ly been awake for about 10 min I the last 3 hours...
I hate seeing her this way. I want her to be free
twinsplusone
 
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Re: Stage 4 and my father won't admit it.

Postby twinsplusone » Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:47 am

Today I was supposed to go in to the hospital and talk to the social worker at the hospital and hospice care as well. Unfortunately one of my 4 year olds woke up with a fever and barking cough... So I'm home today with her and have to find alternative car so I can work tomorrow so I can take Wednesday off to see my mother..,
I'm at such a crossroad. I feel so hurt by this illness. I feel like my mom who is my best friend is ripped from me... I hate seeing her like this. I'm not happy that she has the ng tube, and it's just making her suffer... I want my mother to be free... To just be free from all of this...
I wish there was more of you on this forum. It sucks not having very many people to talk to...
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